ORGY OF THE DEAD no stars

'You sure picked the wrong night to find a cemetery', says, what I presumed to be our heroine to our hero, in the opening of "Orgy of the Dead" which was written by Ed Wood but 'directed', if that's the right word, by someone called A. C. Stephen, aka Stephen C. Apostolof. Yes, we are in all-time-worst-movie territory again but this time in color and with a hell of a lot of dancing, not to mention Criswell doing some narration.

Who in their right mind actually paid money to see crap like this? The dead, perhaps? Oh wait, what's this? Tits? Now I get it; this was never meant to be a 'horror' film, (though it is a horror), but a 'nudie', of which there were many in the sixties. On that level, it's no worse than any other, (alright, maybe it is), but while there is a lot of lascivious dancing, (mostly just swaying about with nothing on), there's no actual sex. Any sexual activity usually took place in the darkness of the auditorium and while there's a Wolfman and a Mummy, actual zombies seem to be in short supply. Gob-smackingly awful.